The kingdom of heaven — whatever that place is to you — does not care about how many books you have published nor how many emails you have answered.
Just imagine dying without truly understanding just how many shades of blue the sky contains?
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Stephanie Valente lives in Brooklyn, NY. She is a Young Adult novelist, short fiction writer, poet, editor, content & social media strategist. In short, she wears many hats. Especially if they have feathers. She is the Assistant Editor at Yes, Poetry and a writer at Luna Luna Magazine. Some of her writing has appeared in Bust Magazine, Electric Cereal, Prick of the Spindle, The 22 Magazine, Danse Macabre, Uphook Press, Literary Orphans, Nano Fiction, and more. She has provided content strategy, copy, blogging, editing, & social media for per’fekt cosmetics, Anna Sui, Agent Provocateur, Patricia Field, Hue, Montagne Jeunesse, Bust Magazine, Kensie, Web100, Oasap, Quiz, Popsugar, among others.
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BY LISA MARIE BASILE
I’ve been a full-time, work from home freelancer for the past two years — a reality that has its beautiful ups, lonely downs, immense privileges (freedom, the ability to care for my chronic illness) and intense drawbacks (health insurance issues, pay cycle problems). I have learned what works and what doesn’t, and have felt everything from the sting of isolation to the beauty of taking a yoga-with-my-cat break.
First, let’s address the stigma around working from home. People sometimes think work-from-home employees are lazy, aren’t actually working or can sleep all day and take two-hour lunches. That we aren’t stressed or concerned for money (?!). In short, it’s true that there is great privilege in working from home, but work is work. And the best freelancers know that it’s not a free-for-all nor an opportunity to slack off. It requires delicate balance and recalibration, just as any job does.
Now that so many of us are working from home due to COVID-19, I’m hearing people say that it’s not as easy as it seems — that they feel frustrated, cooped up, adrift, unable to focus, at a loss for routine, undisciplined, lonely, and [insert adjective]. But more than that, everyone is trying to focus as a deluge of frightening news reports roll in.
In response, here are some ways to holistically and gently integrate work, life, and today’s changing reality.
How do we adjust to all of this rapid change? In one week, we’re dining out and seeing friends. The next, we’re losing our jobs, in our houses all day every day, and stocking up on food. It’s a lot. We have to mindfully navigate these changes. Now’s the time to take stock of what’s important to you day to day (talking to friends? Eating healthfully?). You’ll also want to keep (or adapt) routines that feel healthy and comforting (eating a healthy breakfast? Doing yoga each day for one hour?) and make your house the safe space you need in order to comfort you through anxious, dark, and isolating moments. Keep what feels good to you, and build from there, integrating your workspace tools and job duties into your home-life. Some ideas:
Create one specific space where you work. This creates a healthy separation between work and life. Make it as similar as you can to your office space.
Prioritize daily tasks. Besides work, what else matters? What do you do ‘normally?’ Try to adapt those same behaviors. For example, I swim once per day, usually in the morning. I can’t in quarantine, so instead, I plan to do a workout at that same hour. For those of you who take a break at the office around 12, try to replicate that at home. Creating mirrored actions helps us make sense of rapid change, and you can always switch them out if you find something else you like to do better!
If you feel like you’re missing out on a post-work routine (a local pub, hanging with a friend, walking around the park before heading home), try to create a similar-ish routine you can do when you close the computer — and do close the computer. Working from home is not an invite to work all night, even if it seems tempting.
Because you don’t have a built-in routine — up at 7, on the train by 8, at the desk by 9, for example — you have to create your own routine. This is where discipline comes in. If you don’t want to work all damn day and night, or you want to leave time for projects and pleasures, you’ll need to work from your set hours. Sure, you might snag an extra 45 minutes of sleep, but being at your computer in the morning (if that’s what’s expected of you or not) can help create a sense of responsibility.
Start your morning with a ritual: stretching, pulling a tarot card, meditating, making a cup of coffee, listening to some music as you shower, standing at the window or porch and absorbing the light, and slowly logging on. Go inward. Wake up your senses. Be deliberate and soothing. It’s especially important now to be a little slower, be a little more intentional. Your parasympathetic nervous system may already be shot, so it’s important to show your body that the morning can be soft and calm. You want to set your day’s tone with self-kindness.
One of the benefits of working from home is the ability to simply lay down for 15 — vertically, at a window, wherever. You don’t have to hide-nap in a stall at the office. Even though we have bills to pay (those of us who are privileged to keep our jobs right now, of course), now is the time to balance our ability to do more with resting.
In a sense, the earth is asking us a serious question. The earth is asking us to slow down, to listen, to be more in-tune, to stop pushing so hard — our bodies, the planet, our factories, our workers, our minds. To just be. To just be. Because we are not infallible. We are not eternal. We are natural things that have become selfish enough to think we are omnipotent. We are not. We, like trees, need water and light and time to grow. We bend toward others. We have a language. We bloom. We rot. We are bearing witness, as witness trees do, to the doom that can happen when we don’t listen or care for others.
Working from home, especially during a quarantine time when you’d ordinarily be out or meeting friends or at business meetings, may feel like an invitation to finally do and be everything. To finally learn Spanish. To finally finish that novel. And while these things may comfort you in the dark moments, capitalism’s greedy hands ought not make us feel we’re not being or doing enough.
Do what you can to survive. But rest. Heed the earth and sleep if you need to — especially if you’re sick. Take the time to breathe. To be alive. To watch your animals gaze up at the sunlight through a window.
You’re working from home. You’re trying to focus. You’re reading the news, crying, and then trying to Slack your boss in some sort of legible manner. They are probably home trying to be a good boss, trying to stop the kids from crying, trying to do their best, too. The Pomodoro technique is one I’ve been using since forever because it’s doable, forgiving, and realistic. I used to do it in the office, but now I do it even more at home, where distractions are abundant.
The Pomodoro technique allows us 25 minutes of focus, and then a short break. After that, I will do something soothing. I’ll do a few minutes of yoga, watch a few minutes of ASMR, doodle carelessly into a journal, or do a breathing practice (breath in for 4 seconds, hold the breath for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds). I also created a sacred writing prompt journey (for free!) here, if you prefer to write.
While this may seem pandering or ridiculous (after all, humans need to work!), the reality is this: We won’t do our best if we can’t focus, if we’re chaotically stressed, if we’re giving our all to a job and not taking care of ourselves — especially in a time of crisis.
For people in offices, endless meetings can take a toll. They can usually be summed up in an email, anyway, right? At WeWorks, we duck into telephone booths as if any human interaction will cause us to explode. We’re over-saturated. But in quarantine, we’re suddenly forced to listen to our own footsteps, missing the human interaction of a normal workaday. Even when we’re not working, the missing becomes extra real. We are social creatures. Here’s what you can do:
Organize a FaceTime chat with a friend or friends
Start a group text with friends to share funny pictures or memes
Send videos versus texts with friends. Seeing faces helps our brains feel more connected.
Write a long letter or email to a friend
Watch YouTube vlogs; even having a voice in the background is helpful psychologically
Do a poetry readings or Q&A session on Instagram
Schedule a phone call with someone special once or twice a week
Start a Facebook group for a specific community
Dive into the land of podcasts
Lisa Marie Basile is the founding creative director of Luna Luna Magazine, a popular magazine & digital community focused on literature, magical living, and identity. She is the author of several books of poetry, as well as Light Magic for Dark Times, a modern collection of inspired rituals and daily practices, as well as The Magical Writing Grimoire: Use the Word as Your Wand for Magic, Manifestation & Ritual. Her work focuses heavily on trauma recovery, writing as a healing tool, chronic illness, everyday magic, and poetry. She's written for or been featured in The New York Times, Refinery 29, Self, Chakrubs, Marie Claire, Narratively, Catapult, Sabat Magazine, Bust, HelloGiggles, Best American Experimental Writing, Best American Poetry, Grimoire Magazine, and more. She's an editor at the poetry site Little Infinite as well as the co-host of Astrolushes, a podcast that conversationally explores astrology, ritual, pop culture, and literature. Lisa Marie has taught writing and ritual workshops at HausWitch in Salem, MA, Manhattanville College, and Pace University. She is also a chronic illness advocate, keeping columns at several chronic illness patient websites. She earned a Masters's degree in Writing from The New School and studied literature and psychology as an undergraduate at Pace University. You can follow her at @lisamariebasile and @Ritual_Poetica.
