The kingdom of heaven — whatever that place is to you — does not care about how many books you have published nor how many emails you have answered.
Just imagine dying without truly understanding just how many shades of blue the sky contains?
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BY LUNA LUNA
We’ve taken a pause these past nearly two months. Slowed the publication schedule. Slowed our hearts down. We’ve been nourishing, connecting, and trying our best. Every day is a new struggle. Some of us create. Some of us rest. Some of us work. Some of us eagerly await the day when we can do so again. Some of us feel anxious. Some of us feel numb. There is no one right way to be, feel, think, or manage the difficulty and terror of grief, isolation, and a lack of finances and normalcy.
To add just a bit of luminosity to the world, our team shares a few things we’ve been doing — whether it’s an act or nothing at all — to get through the hard times. Hopefully, they can inspire or reaffirm your own ideas and thoughts.
Since the quarantine began I feel like I’ve awakened to an entirely different, yet totally consuming, emotion each morning. Some days are so anxious. Some are calm. Some are lethargic. I’ve been trying to do at least one meaningful act of self-care that helps me work through whatever’s going on in my mind. Some days it’s writing poems or baking or taking a long walk in the woods with my dog. Other days, it’s spending two hours in the bathtub with a graphic novel or lying in bed, watching Beetlejuice for the five millionth time. I’m trying to be gentle with myself, but that’s, of course, not as easy as it sounds. I hope that everyone out there is taking care of themselves as best as they can.
I have been keeping a diary where I write to my ancestors. While I love my family and friends, sometimes it helps to speak to people outside my present time and space. I write to my ancestors because I know that they would always want what is best with me. Making contact with my ancestors helps me with things such as loving and accepting my body when it is ailing or when I am not feeling confident about the way I look. This also helps me to tap into my ancestral knowledge and power because it keeps me mindful of the tenacity of my people. Their achievements are a source of energy that I can still make good use of.
I’ve been feeling the ups and downs very strongly. Grief is the foundational layer. A grief for our world, for my city, for humanity. My anxiety and general feeling of powerlessness is at an all-time high, so I’ve been relying on a few things to help me manage the tidal waves:
ASMR. I really enjoy the soft, quiet, gentle personal attention of ASMR. It’s me and one person and a few soft sounds, and it creates a universe that I just can fall softly into — blurring out the outside world. If you hate ASMR, Calm app’s “Sleep Stories” (their train stories are amazing) are excellent for a gentle bedtime.
CBD oil. I’ve been taking CBD baths to take the extreme edge off both my thinking and my chronic pain (which flares during stress). I recommend Bluebell Botanicals and Baked Beauty Co.
Ritual journaling. I light a few candles, call upon an archetype and write. What would that archetype ask me? What would I say in response? The trick is be radically honest and open.
Dance. I’ve been turning to dance as a method of stress relief for years, but it really helps to build a cacoon of physicality and ecstatic aliveness. Dua Lipa, Banks, and Lizzo are my go-tos.
Glamour. I’ve been dressing up each week as a different archetype. So far I’ve embraced the looks of Cleopatra/Grecian beauty and Baroque/Dolce & Gabanna. It’s a way to be embodied and present — and to have fun.
For me, the routine is everything. So is setting intentions and trying to be mindful. I make sure to pick out an outfit and get ready everyday because fashion has been a source of joy for me my entire life. Dressing up gets me excited to start the day, and it's also a way I express myself. This makes the day feel more grounded, and less like I'm living in some alternate reality.
The now is now - and it's important for me to prioritize that as a way to be connected to myself and the world. I also tend to draw a tarot card every day for guidance and reflection, to continue my fulfillment journey. Am I on the path I'm supposed to be? Am I being self-aware? Besides that, cooking every meal with my partner, making a point t work on a creative project even just a little every day. These are ways I put myself first in a humanistic way - in a way that focuses on my own truths and meaning. As the editor of Yes Poetry, I've made sure to maintain our daily schedule -and add weekly online courses people can take. The courses have been a fun and thoughtful way to work and interact with others.
Of course, I also try to talk to friends every day in some capacity, which is something I've always done - along with the usual skincare routines. Mostly, I just try to live the way I did before as much as possible and focus on what I can do, rather than what I can't.
Quarantine is strange. On a day-to-day basis, my mental state fluctuates with my thoughts and emotions oscillating between that of comfort at being cocooned in my home and feeling the steady throb of dread and fear of uncertainty. On those days, the days when the weight of relentless anxiety overwhelms me to the point of tears, I do what a lot of people seem to be doing right now—
I get outside in the sun. I walk around my neighborhood with my dogs. I jog to loud, aggressive music. I take my four-month-old baby outside so he can touch trees, grass, dirt, pavement.
I bake. Right before quarantine, I coincidently began a journey into ancestor exploration in the kitchen. I sought out recipes, familial and regional, of my paternal side (Southern Appalachia) and my maternal side (Western Pennsylvania). I forged a connection with my paternal side and have been obsessively cooking different variations of cornbread every week.
I tidy. Nothing may be more soothing to me than tidying. Cleaning, tidying, and arranging objects has always subdued my anxiety in that it gives me some semblance of control.
I practice self-care. I hate running. I’ve tried many, many times over the years to “be a runner” and only made it a day or two before abandoning the endeavor. Now, I’m on week four and oddly, for me, craving my evening jog. I get out of my head. I get in my body. My body craves the movement. My mind craves the alternative focus. And then after my jog, post-shower, I put on my favorite perfume. Who says you can’t put on a sensuous fragrance just for yourself right before bed? Scent instantly calms me and alters my mood.
I was definitely one of those who thought the stay at home order might actually be a boon. I would finish a chapbook or two, and maybe even come up with ideas for other chaps. Ha! Well,l I didn’t count on certain factors like having to face the reality of the pandemic every day at work and let’s just say I was BLOCKED. But one thing that helped was my writing prompts. I’ve put together quite a few in hopes of putting together a little book and I’d love to share one with you.
This one came to me after a friend posted one of his photos on Instagram. It is a simple shot of a window screen with a tear in it. You can just see through to the street and to the left and right, is just blurred:
Prompt: Imagine this window is your window, and the hole, a view to your backyard, or a friend’s backyard. What do you see? You can write down what is in your point of view or create your own landscape. I did a bit of both. I started sharp, than honed in even more, but you could begin with the barely seen and go sharp. Or the barely seen and go more vague?
Mom is in the front yard
on her knees, stacking rocks
in front of the roses—
She saw a cairn on sale
in Marshalls for $6.99 earlier,
threw it to the ground and
walked away smiling.
And now she is in the backyard,
on her second stack, wobbling
on damp knees—and I am fixing
her a cup of tea, the only thing
she wanted from me—
The poem is far from perfect and may never go far as this page, but that is okay.
BY ARIEL KUSBY
You and your houseplants have an intimate relationship. When you care for them, they give you fresh air in return. They’re dependent on you, and this connection creates a deep bond. Because plants are protective, they can be seen as green allies that stand in our windows, guarding against illness and providing us with inspiration. Every plant, even your houseplants, have a personality and secret language that we can learn from if we commit to listening to them.
Free Write: Choose a houseplant to sit with for a while. Gently touch its leaves, trace your fingers through the soil. Take a few deep breaths focus and notice any related thoughts, feelings, or images that arise.
Focus on a particular leaf or flower that is most beautiful to you. What does this leaf reveal about the plant’s greater personality? How does the leaf taste, feel, and smell? Is it sharp or sweet and how does it relate to the way it looks and to any impressions you may be getting? What are its secrets and what does it wish you will know? Record any fleeting thoughts or images that come into your mind, however unrelated they may seem.
Life Cycle: Now write about the seed or bulb from which this plant originally came. Start a sentence with “It was,” then another with “It is,” then the next with “It has nothing to do with.” Next, write “It is like ___ when ___.”
Seasons of the Houseplant: Write 4 lines about the plant in each season. Then write 4 lines alternating between two seasons. Then, all four again. To add an extra challenge, try doing so without using any colors.
Secret Life: Write about a secret that this plant may have, from the plant’s perspective. Then, write a few lines about the secret, as told by the plant container’s perspective.
Plant Body: Pick a new part of the plant, like a stem, flower, or a different leaf. Write as if it has replaced one of your body parts - what would be the physical, emotional, psychological, and/or sexual repercussions of this?
Terrarium Editing: Start a new page. Pick your favorite lines out of everything you’ve written and compile them together here. They may all not seem to immediately fit together, but try rearranging them to see if any lines juxtapose in interesting ways. Like a terrarium is often designed to group plants with different textures side-by-side, see if some of your lines can coexist in the same poem.
