BY STEPHANIE ATHENA VALENTE
Editor’s Note: Below is an excerpt from Valente’s book-in-progress on poetry spells. You can read another excerpt here.
“I love what is human, what gives softness.” – Anais Nin
Self-care may seem like a woo-woo trendy phrase in our contemporary culture. It might sound a little conceited, self-centered, or even unnecessary. It might stir up pretentious and classist imagery: solo vacations, spa days, decadent meals, heavy drinking, expensive massages, impulse spending, social avoidance. If anything, this image of self-care seems to only lend itself to people who are female-identifying, thin, and white.
True restorative self-support couldn’t be farther from that image.
Self-care doesn’t need large chunks of solo time with pricey bath salts, champagne, and rare crystals for a sacred, grounding, and permissive space. Engaging with self-work is something many of us don’t do often enough. It doesn’t have to cost money or take up hours of our days and weekends. Self-care doesn’t exclusively involve us ignoring others and the world around us. The idea that a person has to spend gobs of money or engage in a luxurious practice in self-support is frankly, bullshit. At the same time, if you have the means to treat yourself and spoil yourself, you do you. There isn’t one surefire way to engage in self-support.
Every person, every witch, every being is worthy of self-care. In fact, supporting ourselves is a mystical and ritualistic practice. Self-care exists for us all. It’s divine, it’s a pathway to a deeper, accepting connection with ourselves and the cosmos at large. While I’m throwing fancy adjectives and waxing poetics on the marvels of self-support, the real deal is that: it’s easy. Self-care is simple, as simple as deep breathing, closing your eyes, and giving gratitude. Or asking a question.
Self-care is a sacred and magical act. Self-care is magical because it is not reliant on money or objects in order to be calming and nourishing. With this ethos of freedom from money and freedom from possessions, self-care is a gateway to achieving our innermost intentions for the highest good. Moving along with this mindset, self-care is essential to a well-balanced and powerful witchcraft practice.
Self-care can be as grounding and simple and realistic as you need it to be.
Whether it’s taking a pause and engaging in a few deep breaths, meditation, grounding with the earth, bathing, cooking a meal, or simply admiring the warm sun on your face. Thank the universe, the gods and goddesses for the moments you have, and for the time you spend nourishing yourself. There are quite a few moments in the day that we can savor with and for ourselves that are equally accessible and enchanting.
What does sacred self-care look like? Below are a few simple but classic ideas to get you started:
Sacred Self-Care Starting Points
● Meditate for one minute
● Take a pause and breathe in and out for three counts in, three counts out
● Write in a journal in the mornings or evenings
● Walk on the earth without shoes on to feel the ground deeply
● Take a bath or a shower to wash your worries or feelings away
● Perform a self-love or gratitude ritual
● Read a really good story or poem (more on that in a bit!)
● Watch something that makes you laugh or smile
● Eat a snack
● Engage in a beauty ritual that calms you
● Draw, doodle, or collage
● Get your body moving: walking, stretching, running, dancing
● Listen to your favorite album or song (bonus if you sing along!)
● Give yourself a warm, tight embrace
● Repeat a personal affirmation to yourself
● Text a friend a compliment or a positive engagement
● Smile at animals
● Play a game
● Take a break from social media and the internet
● Turn off your phone
● Light a candle and watch the flame dance
● Record a voice memo or a short entry on three things you’re grateful for
● Do something without any expectations of an outcome or perfection
● Sip a hot mug of coffee, tea, or water with lemon
● Create a vision board for your next adventure
I hope these points above are some foundational steps to diving deeper into a magical practice. You may use the ideas above to get started and infuse your own personal rituals, magic, and self-support. Self-care is one of the most sacred acts we can give ourselves, and it is a true gift. So start small and experiment with rituals, actionable steps, and reflect on those acts.
This self-care list is a starting point also for a poetry writing practice, too. These rituals can engage your creative side, prep the writing process, or help you decompress after writing a poetry spell or designing a ritual. As we dive deeper into the chapter, you’ll be able to infuse poetry, writing, and magic into your self-support work.
Stephanie Athena Valente lives in Brooklyn, NY. Her published works include Hotel Ghost, waiting for the end of the world, and Little Fang (Bottlecap Press, 2015-2019). She has work included in Witch Craft Magazine, Maudlin House, and Cosmonauts Avenue. She is the associate editor at Yes, Poetry. Sometimes, she feels human. stephanievalente.com