BY SARAH CAVAR
what are you, autistic?
I am a character in a word
without an l:
bound
from floor from furniture
from question. ignorant
to its gravity.
Out of Mind & Into Body
I am in the thick of water. Below
my rocks - my childhood
Moss, pain-splattered boots
to mark my place; posts we keep
above the water, trunks and love left
in the cabin. Here is the river the sum
mer I seek to swim through, white light to sole.
So I am nineteen. I am a long
pause. I’m fifteen, a
distance between desk and face.
I am the act of holding
onto voices, still crooked tween
my self and body
Is all lost-? I mean
to say, “post-“. –– I mean, to
speak the present tense
yearnahalf n change.
Sarah Cavar is a PhD student, writer, and transgender-about-town, and serves as Managing Editor at Stone of Madness Press. Author of two chapbooks, A HOLE WALKED IN (Sword & Kettle Press) and THE DREAM JOURNALS (giallo lit), they have also had work featured in Electric Literature, The Offing, Bitch Magazine, and elsewhere. Cavar navel-gazes at cavar.club and tweets @cavarsarah.