Self-Immolation
some part of my father must be flowers—peony and lily
his beliefs are bees they are all sting
where is the honey
he believes I will burn in hell for all eternity
he does not know that I have cut off my hand like a butcher
he does not know that I have swallowed the wet eel of my tongue
he does not know that I have ripped out my own eyes—olives rolling
on the ground all in the name of sainthood and I was never good enough
for his god he does not know all the places I have wept and the moss that grew there
to cover any happiness I have swam in lakes of fire—psychosis has taken me
and smoked my brain like a joint I could smell the smoke I could see the ash—
everything crumbling haven’t I suffered enough in this life I have crawled—
a wretched thing on this earth I am learning to stand without shame
I am happy to dance with his devil—that pagan god
my father does not know the sweet grapes I have eaten from the devil’s hands
I have danced all night until morning—until my feet burned
I have watched the sunrise without sleep in my eyes
I have drank entire bottles of champagne
I have lit my flesh on fire with my own hand
I am a carousel of pleasure I am a carnal thing
I want sweetness in my mouth
I have worn the ring of this life I am wedded to her
I am making love to her animal fur I am biting her neck
I have had more than one lover at a time—
bodies burning
bodies on fire
bodies on the hot hot coals of this life
bodies sublime
Liza Sparks (she/her) is a writer, poet, and creative. Her work is informed by her intersecting identities as a brown-multiracial-neurodivergent-pansexual-woman. Liza is a student in the 2025-2026 Poetry Collective at The Lighthouse Writers Workshop in Denver, Colorado. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in Allium, CALYX, TIMBER, Split This Rock, Pangyrus LitMag, The Pinch, and many others. She is a Pushcart Prize and a Best of the Net nominee. Liza has two forthcoming poetry chapbooks with Gnashing Teeth Publishing and Finishing Line Press, respectively. You can find more of her work or connect with Liza on IG @sparksliza534, Blue Sky @lsparks, or on her website, lizasparks.com.