3 Poems by Alexandra Naughton — My Posey Taste Like: The Paradise Lost Edition

ALEXANDRA NAUGHTON

Alexandra Naughton's My Posey Taste Like: The Paradise Lost Edition (Bottlecap Press, 2017) includes poems from the original, highly-acclaimed collection My Posey Taste Like (Bottlecap Press, 2015) plus ten new poems. Watch this video.

maybe i don’t deserve it but i’m tired. i would like to just stop. i don’t really know what that means and i also feel the exact opposite. like i would just like to go. because maybe i don’t deserve it. so i go any where. i like feeling night time on my skin wandering but going some where it doesn’t matter why any thing can be an adventure when you let it and i let it, and it pulls me forward by invisible strings keeping the radio perfect to keep the momentum just right and i’m not even thinking any more just being part of an other body an other calling an other way to worship. and then when it feels right to stop. and then curling up to rest.

**

peeing in your shower when you’re not looking and drowning in self importance. later you’re underlining how little I mean to you, tracing fingers back and forth in the carpeting for emphasis. i’m propped up on pillows and yawning like i’ve waited for this moment all weekend. our similarities can only go so far, sing so much harmony. the difference between a poem and just something you wrote is just not saying something completely fucking ordinary, it’s how you say it too.

**

my posey taste like soiled tablecloths in a hamper heap. paradise lost or a parasite, lost. let the puppy lick your hand and quit being such a killjoy. touching myself in the mirror like this is the best i can do. i’m not wasting time, i’m not looking for any thing except what i can devour. straddling you on an apartment building rooftop watching the sun go down and drinking from cold glasses. i will take apart your face to find the morsels i like most, taking big bites from the sides like a dad with his kid’s ice cream cone because it’s melting. this is what love is, you say, peeling back my sweaty spousebeater to scream into my skin, my stains. every thing you do i just absorb you. staying so damn quit it makes you madder and i just take you in.

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Alexandra Naughton is editor in chief of @baipress in California. Her first novel, American Mary, was published by Civil Coping Mechanisms in March 2016 . She’s a Libra. Follow her on twitter: @thetsaritsa

Poetry by Sarah Nichols

The Black Dahlia Dreams of Blade Runner

Last night, I dreamed of
Los Angeles.

Not as it was, when I
died. The promise and

sun of it.

I dreamed of its
now, a neon smear.

The city of
ghosts.

My voice in
its moving darkness,
saying

I’ve seen things you people
wouldn’t believe.


Sources: Ellroy, James. The Black Dahlia. New York: Mysterious Press, 1987; Hampton Fancher and David Peoples, Blade Runner screenplay, 1981.

Bloodline

My bloodline ends in
silence.

I circle back,
before my myth.

Slow now,

like conjuring a
storm.

Still in my descent,

a fury
beckoning.

I stir now,
watchful.

Someone’s out there.


Sources: Ellroy, James. The Black Dahlia. New York: Mysterious Press, 1987. Print, and James Ellroy, “My Mother and the Dahlia,” Virginia Quarterly Review, 82/3 (2006). N. pag. vqr online, Virginia Quarterly Review 19 June 2006. Web.

Dresses, Jewelry, Food

I wanted to be ready.

No one tells you what to
pack for the trip.

I met Cleopatra in
the underworld, and

she told me that
none of it

(dresses, jewelry, food)

matters down here.

Time cures everyone,
she says.

Whatever you thought
you wanted

dies or
goes away.

People worship you or
forget.

No one knows
that

until

they arrive.


Source: Ellroy, James. The Black Dahlia. New York: Mysterious Press, 1987. Print.

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Sarah Nichols lives and writes in Connecticut. She is the author of four chapbooks, including Dreamland for Keeps (Porkbelly Press, forthcoming, 2018) and She May Be a Saint (Hermeneutic Chaos Press, 2016). Her poems and essays have also appeared in Thirteen Myna Birds, The Ekphrastic Review, Calamus, and The RS 500.

In Conversation with Rowana Abbensetts of Spoken Black Girl

INTERVIEW BY LISA MARIE BASILE

LISA MARIE BASILE: I love to hear about women creating amazing communities and making a space for voices that aren’t always provided a platform in mainstream media. Can you tell us a little about Spoken Black Girl?

ROWANA ABBENSETTS: Spoken Black Girl started out as my own little space on the internet to talk about struggles with anxiety and depression. During my lowest points in life, I felt completely alone and I wanted to create a space where I could discuss mental health freely and without stigma. I was amazed by the support that I received from my growing community of readers and fellow bloggers. Since then Spoken Black Girl has transformed into an online publication open to all women of color.  

LISA MARIE BASILE: What sort of vacancy did you see in the digital media landscape that spurred the creation of SBG?

ROWANA ABBENSETTS: There aren’t many publications dedicated to true holistic healing for women of color; by that I mean not only covering yoga and meditation, but allowing for women of color to explore mental and emotional healing from mental illness and or trauma. In the Black community, for example, the stigma of mental illness and mental health is strong. Black women are taught to be strong and to hide our pain and vulnerabilities.

This problem of stigma is reflected in the limited or warped focus on mental health that we see in popular publications. Mental health is often a passing topic that popular culture would suggest can be remedied by spa trips and candles. The truth is, the conversation is much deeper than that. Women of color need to heal, mind, body, and soul, in order to continue building together.

LISA MARIE BASILE: I have learned so much from the content SBG has published, and I really appreciate the words I’ve read. Diversity and inclusivity is so important to SBG—I know how marginalized voices have been silenced or reduced. What is your goal with SBG, to confront and disrupt that?

ROWANA ABBENSETTS: It’s important to empower young, marginalized writers. I know that for women of color in particular, it’s easy to become discouraged.  The world is always telling us that our stories don’t matter, that out skills aren’t good enough, and that we are somehow encroaching on a traditionally white, male space. This is not true, but there are many that think this way, evidenced by the severe lack of representation among women of color in the publishing industry. At SBG, we take our time to work with writers and help them develop their skills and grow as writers. We want writers to gain confidence by sharing their stories with a supportive community that sees the value of marginalized voices.

LISA MARIE BASILE: What sort of message would you like to send to potential contributors and readers alike?

ROWANA ABBENSETTS: Have an open heart and an open mind.  Spoken Black Girl is a platform that values and respects vulnerability. I feel privileged to be able to publish deeply personal stories of growth, so it’s important to me that we all show each other love and support as a community of readers and writers.

LISA MARIE BASILE: I always find that engaging readers and fans is probably one of the hardest and yet most important aspects of running a publication. How can new readers support SBG and its authors—and how do you want to support your readers?

ROWANA ABBENSETTS: To our readers, I encourage you to share and show love in whatever way feels right to you. We plan on having more events, so I would definitely encourage our supporters to participate in all of our events and initiatives. Our ultimate goal is to be able to pay writers at market rate so we can do even more to improve the lives of WOC writers.

SBG will continue to support its readers by helping them explore their own growth journeys, whether it’s through powerful content, events, workshops or challenges. We’re more than a publication, we’re a community, and we’re constantly striving to add value to the lives of our community members.

LISA MARIE BASILE: Something I find really interesting about the digital landscape is that people WANT to share their stories. Where that maybe used to be called ‘weak,’ it’s now strong and I love that. There’s a focus on well-being and healing from trauma at SBG. How did you come upon that focus?

ROWANA ABBENSETTS: When it comes to mental health, a lot of women, in particular women of color,  have experienced trauma that has impacted their mental health. Of course, there are many women who begin their exploration of mental health having struggled specifically with anxiety, depression, bipolar or other mental illnesses. It’s often impossible to tease mental health away from trauma, especially because marginalized women experience sexism, racism, and homophobia as a fact of life, and those microaggressions often amount to trauma. We also deal with generational trauma, having absorbed the pain and fears of our mothers and grandmothers. Heal one woman and you heal all those that came before her.  

LISA MARIE BASILE: What sort of submissions are you looking for?

ROWANA ABBENSETTS: We’re looking for authentic, uplifting voices. I like submissions that are informative and clear, but reads like advice between girlfriends.

LISA MARIE BASILE: You talk about the transformation from SBG the blog to the magazine in your piece, “How to Step Into Your Season of Transformation.”  What is SO good about this piece is that you straight up outline the reasons people don’t always move forward with their dreams. They’re afraid, or they have no confidence, or they haven’t found a way to set themselves free. Can you talk a little more about that and how people can tap into their ability to transform.

ROWANA ABBENSETTS: At a certain point in life, you have to let go of worrying about what everyone else thinks and listen to your intuition. Tap into what you want. Women in particular spend too much time sacrificing our own mental health and well-being out of a sense of obligation or duty to others. We’re so preoccupied with what we should be doing that we rarely pause to ask ourselves what we really want. I always find that the more honest I am with myself, the more likely I am to manifest the changes I want to see. My suggestion is to start with deep, personal reflection. Find the tools that will help you achieve this, whether it’s journaling, meditation or prayer. Discover the best way for you to reconnect with your innermost self.

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Rowana Abbensetts started Spoken Black Girl in the spring of 2015 as a personal blog about her own struggles with anxiety and depression hoping to find other women of color who could relate. Two years later, realizing that women of color lacked a centralized place to share their mental and emotional journeys, Rowana decided to turn the blog into what is now Spoken Black Girl Magazine.