BY JOANNA C. VALENTE
Last month, I saw The Cure play live for the first time in my life, and honestly, I was absolutely floored. I literally felt like I died and went to goth heaven. It wasn't just because my body was in the same room as Robert Smith's body (although that was pretty amazing), or because the music was impeccable, it was because of their incredible energy. It was contagious.
They played for three hours. And it felt like it was because they actually wanted the crowd to have an actual experience, not just something to Instagram. In many ways, it was a transcendental moment for me, because my life was coming full circle for me. When I first discovered The Cure, I was a lonely queer teen who later became a raped girl, a tainted girl--who then later became a poet, a human who is exploring their sexuality and gender in more fluid ways.
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For me, the long show was perfect, just like heaven--bringing me into a world both real and unreal--parts of myself I had forgotten. Parts of myself that are still lonely, and no longer lonely--still longing for something I can't describe. Of course, it also made me sad and nostalgic in a way, for that girl who was so lost and sad. But in that sadness, there is also magic, the kind you have as a kid, that pure passion. It's beautiful to see artists love and believe in what they do.
Now I'm watching my orchid grow in Brooklyn, hoping in some other dimension that it will always keep blooming, that it will help me keep growing, too. This is what good art does. It makes you want to change--it makes you want to share a new kind of intimacy. When do humans, who want to stay human, become more? It's the dream of what we want, the romance of the life unlived, the lives we live in our heads.
Because of this, I started to think about The Cure songs that correspond with zodiac signs, and came up with a list below:
ARIES
You're outgoing, bubbly, and often passionate about what you want. Life is a whirlwind for you, and you're not afraid to put yourself out there. Yes, you're "Just Like Heaven."
"I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow"
TAURUS
You can be a bit stubborn and afraid to show your emotions, since you often strive to be levelheaded and pragmatic. "Boys Don't Cry" is totally your anthem.
"I try to laugh about it
Cover it all up with lies
I try and laugh about it
Hiding the tears in my eyes"
GEMINI
You feel your emotions very intensely--some say you're moody because you often change your mind or seem indecisive, but it's more that you want to explore all of your options. You're the intense song "The Kiss" from "Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me."
"Love me love me love me
You nail me to the floor
And push my guts all inside out
Get it out get it out get it out
Get your fucking voice
Out of my head"
CANCER
You're the creative type, and nothing says more creative than a song based on the stories Robert Smith's father would tell him at bedtime as a kid. Yes, you're "Lullaby."
"On candy stripe legs the Spiderman comes
Softly through the shadow of the evening sun
Stealing past the windows of the blissfully dead
Looking for the victim shivering in bed
Searching out fear in the gathering gloom"
LEO
You're loud, proud, and love to be the center of attention. So this choice shouldn't surprise you--because it's all about you--and who you want to be: "Why Can't I Be You."
"You're so gorgeous I'll do anything
I'll kiss you from your feet to where your head begins
You're so perfect you're so right as rain
You make me
Make me, make me, make me hungry again"
VIRGO
Virgos are extremely organized and pragmatic, sometimes to a point where they hide their emotions. However, that doesn't mean virgos don't feel deeply, it can just take a lot for them to open up. Many are very introspective, hence why you are "Plainsong."
"'i think it's dark and it looks like rain' you said
"and the wind is blowing like it's the end of the
world" you said "and it's so cold it's like the
cold if you were dead" and then you smiled for
a second."
LIBRA
Libras are social, gentle, diplomatic people--you are the person others confide in, because they feel comfortable around you. "Like Cockatoos" is definitely you.
"And kissed his feet she fell
Her head an inch away from heaven
And her face pressed tight
And all around the night sang out
Like cockatoos"
SCORPIO
Scorpios always get a bad rap for being the "crazy" sign, but it's more that they are intense--and crave intimacy. Sometimes they can be impulsive and risk-taking because of this, but they also live to the fullest--hence you are the classic song "Disintegration."
"oh i miss the kiss of treachery the aching kiss
before i feed the stench of a love for a younger
meat and the sound that it makes when it cuts
in deep the holding up on bended knees the
addiction of duplicities as bit by bit it starts
the need to just let go my party piece"
SAGITTARIUS
While the centaur is vivacious, open-minded and hearted, Sags are also philosophers and creative types. Because of this, they aren't always as cheerful as their image tends to portray. They love asking the hard, deeper questions in life--which is why "Pornography" captures who you really are.
"A hand in my mouth
A life spills into the flowers
We all look so perfect
As we all fall down
In an electric glare
The old man cracks with age
She found his last picture
In the ashes of the fire
An image of the queen
Echoes round the sweating bed
Sour yellow sounds inside my head"
CAPRICORN
Capricorns are often planners--they seek stability and comfort, sometimes at the risk of going the safe route, as opposed to what they feel passionate about. Because of this, you can often feel unsure of what to do--on the bright side, it makes you think of all your options. You are "The Walk."
"I called you after midnight
Then ran until I burst
I passed the howling woman
And stood outside your door
We walked around the lake
And woke up in the rain
And everyone turned over
Troubled in their dreams again"
AQUARIUS
You're definitely an independent person--one full of unique ideas--and you often are free-spirited and wild. You don't want to be tied down to anything--which is why the quintessential break up song "A Letter to Elise" is all you.
"Oh Elise it doesn't matter what you do
I know I'll never really get inside of you
To make your eyes catch fire
The way they should
The way the blue could pull me in
If they only would, if they only would
At least I'd lose this sense of sensing something else
That hides away
From me and you"
PISCES
Pisces are all about their connections with other people--they love the comfort of others, and can trust pretty easily. This makes them compassionate, but also vulnerable, and easy to hurt. Clearly, you're "Close to Me."
"Just try to see in the dark
Just try to make it work
To feel the fear before you're here
I make the shapes come much too close
I pull my eyes out
Hold my breath
And wait until I shake"
Joanna C. Valente is a human who lives in Brooklyn, New York. She is the author of Sirs & Madams (Aldrich Press, 2014), The Gods Are Dead (Deadly Chaps Press, 2015), Marys of the Sea (forthcoming 2016, ELJ Publications) & Xenos (forthcoming 2017, Agape Editions). She received her MFA in writing at Sarah Lawrence College. She is also the founder of Yes, Poetry, as well as the managing editor for Luna Luna Magazine. Some of her writing has appeared in Prelude, The Atlas Review, The Huffington Post, Columbia Journal, and elsewhere. She has lead workshops at Brooklyn Poets.