BY TIFFANY SCIACCA

Pinterest is the devil. Well, not really of course but it definitely puts your loves and, let’s face it, materialism into perspective. One of my 55+ (hush!) boards is entitled If I Had Money to Burn. And it includes pottery older than Hera and beds that no longer exist. Or if they do are locked away in the perfectly preserved loft of some long dead Italian socialite. That gave me the idea of writing reviews for these and other items that I may never be able to obtain because of a lack of funds or that they simply no longer exist. It would also strengthen my copy writing chops, so win/win! Maybe this will become a new genre, fan reviewing? (Just kidding.) My first effort follows below and more will follow soon!

I’ll be honest, I love Pat McGrath, she is a superb make-up artist with a delicious Avant Garde style who can do no wrong. Well, except when I heard she was behind the Max Factor line last year. I was hoping for at least a half dozen foundation shades, a couple being a good match for me. Naïve, I know but I never was a lipstick fan and L’Oréal had always been my go to for mascara.

But now, we have Pat McGrath’s Lust MatteTrance Lipstick collection. The packaging called to mind Kiki De Montparnasse who happens to be my muse. The first and only color that caught my eye was Deep Void, described as a "Deep Blackened Purple." What? That’s like wearing an eggplant on my lips! This is pretty much the shade I’ve always wanted.

Pat McGrath makes colors that yank you out of your comfort zone. I mean, sure, you may only venture two flights down to grab your mail at first. But at some point, you will go somewhere special if only to you. Or after 22 practice runs, will inevitably run out the door, down the stairs, and out of your building. Having no idea you are even wearing it. Until some old woman in a doorway clutches her clavicle and gasps, "Vamp!"

At that moment, you will either frantically try to erase your mouth with the inside sleeve of your thrifted H&M sweater. (The old me.) Or in the immortal words of the English rock band Argent, "Hold Your Head Up!" (The new me.)

As far as wear, I imagine that this lipstick, although Matte, would go on like Butter cream. Better yet, Honey butter. Or even better? Honey cream. If the latter is not a thing, it needs to be. Once applied, your lips would feel fabulous! Plump from the inside and you’d feel inclined to work your lips into a Russell sneer.

The color would set ever so slight, just enough that you’d have to work to leave a mark.

Trust me, if I had the $38 to throw at a lipstick I would fold each bill into a small fleet of planes and thrust them out the nearest window. But alas, I do not…yet.

Tiffany Sciacca is a writer who has recently moved to Sicily from the Midwest. Her work has appeared in the Silver Birch Press, SOFTBLOW and DNA Magazine UK. When she is not learning a new language or trying to blend in, she is reading horror anthologies, binging on Nordic Noir or plugging away at her first Giallo screenplay. @EustaceChisholm