Find a way to both honor your feelings and let them sit in validity while also making space for adaptability, self-love, and healing through pain.
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This is a letter to remind myself, and you, that life is messy and that’s OK. It's OK that it doesn't always look or feel how we want it to. Things always pass. The hard moments will pass.
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…the borderlands, outer space, and the neon glow of chisme…
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Joanna C. Valente is a human who lives in Brooklyn, New York. They are the author of Sirs & Madams, The Gods Are Dead, Marys of the Sea, & Xenos, No(body) (forthcoming, Madhouse Press, 2019) and is the editor of A Shadow Map: Writing by Survivors of Sexual Assault. They received their MFA in writing at Sarah Lawrence College. Joanna is the founder of Yes, Poetry and the senior managing editor for Luna Luna Magazine. Some of their writing has appeared in The Rumpus, Brooklyn Magazine, BUST, and elsewhere. Joanna also leads workshops at Brooklyn Poets. joannavalente.com / Twitter: @joannasaid / IG: joannacvalente
'Astrology for Happiness and Success' by Mecca Woods Helped Tackle My Anxiety
Mecca Woods’ new book came into my life the exact moment I needed it. Astrology for Happiness and Success, with its calming blue cover, made it into my hands as a particularly hectic and deracinating summer was ending but not without wreaking havoc on my physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.
This book helped put me back on course.
Read MoreToday Is Intersex Awareness Day. Here's What You Can Do
Joanna C. Valente is a human who lives in Brooklyn, New York. They are the author of Sirs & Madams (Aldrich Press, 2014), The Gods Are Dead (Deadly Chaps Press, 2015), Marys of the Sea (ELJ Publications, 2016) & Xenos (Agape Editions, 2016), and is the editor of A Shadow Map: Writing by Survivors of Sexual Assault (CCM, 2017). They received their MFA in writing at Sarah Lawrence College. Joanna is the founder of Yes, Poetry and the managing editor for Civil Coping Mechanisms and Luna Luna Magazine. Some of their writing has appeared in Prelude, BUST, Spork Press, The Feminist Wire, and elsewhere. Joanna also leads workshops at Brooklyn Poets. joannavalente.com / Twitter: @joannasaid / IG: joannacvalente
This Friendly Depression Workbook Provides Support & Actionable Steps
BY LISA MARIE BASILE
As World Mental Health Day trends across social media, I’ve felt both sorrowful and appreciative. On one hand, it’s hard to see just how many people suffer with various forms of mental illness. On the other, I know intimately how damaging it can be to shame and silence those who suffer, and I’m glad we’re changing that. That suffering can be passed down, internalized, neglected. It rots away at us, our families, our communities, and our cultures.
It seems we will always battle with mental illness, whether it’s chemical or triggered by one’s experiences, or both—but there are options. From medication to mindfulness, from simply speaking as a way to release the albatross, to learning to work with your own triggers and cycles (I think of it as intuiting when the sea is coming to flood shore), everyone will explore different approaches, unique to their needs.
And if we are always fighting against the illness, the least we can do is create an judgment-free and compassionate environment for one another.
I recently received The 10-Step Depression Relief Workbook: A Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Approach, written by Simon Rego, Psy. D. and Sarah Fader, my friend and also the creator of Stigma Fighters. The book creates that environment.
I was so glad to have received it as well, as I’ve always lived with a lingering anxiety and depression. My mental health challenges are deeply tied to life changes and times of powerlessness, rooted in my past: As a kid, both of my parents suffered with addiction, and we lived in homeless shelters and then we went into foster care. I’ve come to recognize what may set my depression and anxiety off (moving home or job, being thrown for a loop, not feeling cared for or supported), and living with these issues is like walking on a tight rope. I’ve come to force myself to understand that it’s all a balancing act, and that that’s just the truth. That said, I’m grateful to have been able to manage my symptoms.
When I received this book, I was in the middle of a move. Perfect, right? I hadn’t fallen into the depths, but I was feeling it. That undercurrent, its surging, its quiet little hum. And so, I turned to the workbook, which I appreciated very much because of its kindness and its approach.
First off, the book starts off with an intro that makes it clear that depression is a real illness—not just a bit of melancholy that sometimes makes us feel blue. It also notes the very real risks of depression—including the physical. Because chronic depression can lead to heart attacks, diabetes and stroke—all of which have been verified by science.
Next, it discusses the barriers to treatment that many people and countries face—limited access to therapy, medical treatments, or a lack of trained healthcare providers. (Just take a look at this study around the prevalence of Brazilians living without depression treatment). For this reason, the workbook uses a cognitive behavioral therapy step-by-step approach, which can help find a workaround to some of those barriers. It specifically mentions that it may be best suited for those with mild depression or people who are hesitant about medical treatment.
Written in a friendly and clear voice, it helps the reader first get honest with themselves: What is depression, what are the symptoms? What are your symptoms? It also offers some glimpses of Sarah's own experiences—and asks the reader to share theirs. This feels very much like a loving conversation rooted in both gentleness and serious action.
It then moves to discussing the therapeutic process—and CBT, which offers action items for managing depression. CBT, defined, means, "Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a form of psychotherapy that treats problems and boosts happiness by modifying dysfunctional emotions, behaviors, and thoughts. Unlike traditional Freudianpsychoanalysis, which probes childhood wounds to get at the root causes of conflict, CBT focuses on solutions, encouraging patients to challenge distorted cognitions and change destructive patterns of behavior."
The book goes on to discuss other therapies as well, just so you know the differences—which I appreciated. Following chapters include recognizing and workshopping problem areas (like replacing negative thoughts, and enhancing objective thoughts), making a plan for yourself, learning to not procrastinate when it comes to tasks and self-care, and learning to develop lifestyle skills and finding gratitude.
What I like most about the book is that it very much sounds like a kind and objective friend who wants you to help yourself and be happy, in whatever small step feels right for you. Its focus on both the short-term (immediate behaviors) and the long-term (learning mindfulness and maintaining wellness, even when not depressed), is important. The fact that is acts as both a triage and a holistic coach is so key, I think. This helps the reader get some relief while thinking about the bigger picture.
I recommend this book to anyone who wants to peer inward, discover healthful and pragmatic tools to manage depression and create a step-by-step approach to taking action.
I also recommend checking out CEO Sarah Fader's Stigma Fighters, which is a mental health non-profit organization (founded in 2014) dedicated to helping real people living with mental illness.
As the site says, "There are teachers, doctors, lawyers, psychologists, actors, writers all living with mental illness. These are the stories that need to be told; the people who seem to be “regular” or “normal” people but are actually hiding a big secret. They are living with an invisible illness. They are struggling to function like the rest of society. It is Stigma Fighters’ mission to raise awareness for people who are seemingly “normal” but actually fighting hard to survive. If you are living with mental illness and you want to share your story, please fill in the form HERE. We look forward to fighting the stigma of mental illness one story at a time."
i hope that whatever your path, and whatever pain you're feeling, you take the time to care for yourself. You deserve it.
SUICIDE HOTLINE
1-800-273-8255
Lisa Marie Basile is the founding creative director of Luna Luna Magazine--a digital diary of literature, magical living and idea. She is the author of "Light Magic for Dark Times," a modern grimoire of inspired rituals and daily practices. She's also the author of a few poetry collections, including the forthcoming "Nympholepsy." Her work encounters the intersection of ritual and wellness, chronic illness, magic, overcoming trauma, and creativity, and she has written for The New York Times, Narratively, Grimoire Magazine, Sabat Magazine, The Establishment, Refinery 29, Bust, Hello Giggles, and more. Lisa Marie earned a Masters degree in Writing from The New School and studied literature and psychology as an undergraduate at Pace University
Sarah Fader is the CEO and Founder of Eliezer Tristan Publishing Company, where she is dedicated to sharing the words of authors who endure and survive trauma and mental illness. She is also the CEO and Founder of Stigma Fighters, a non-profit organization that encourages individuals with mental illness to share their personal stories. She has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, Quartz, Psychology Today, The Huffington Post, HuffPost Live, and Good Day New York.
Dr. Simon Rego, a licensed clinical psychologist with close to 20 years of experience in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and other evidence-based psychological treatments, is currently Chief Psychologist, Director of Psychology Training, and Director of the CBT Training Program at Montefiore Medical Center and an Associate Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York
Why Freaking Out Is a Sure-Fire Sign That Your Magic Is Working
Demelza Fox is a modern day mermaid, international dancer, Venusian Devotee and a Priestess of Morgan le Fey. By day, she runs Rockstar Priestess, a priestess- and goddess spirituality website and community for wild witches and mystic mermaids, and by night she lights up stages across the land as a magnetic dancer and award winning burlesque seductress. Demelza runs the Morgan le Fey Mystery School, dedicated to teaching the ways and secrets of Morgan le Fey through online courses, priestess trainings and retreats in the heart of the landscape of Avalon in Glastonbury UK. www.priestesstraining.com
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Genevieve Pfeiffer is the executive editor of Anomaly, an international journal of literature and art. She teaches literature at Westchester Community College and Pace University, and has facilitated workshops with both young children, and incarcerated women. Pfeiffer has been the writer in residence at The Platte-Clove Preserve and The Mall of Found. Recently, she was selected to participate in The Home School conference. Her work has been published in journals that include So to Speak: feminism + language + art, Crack the Spine, Stone Canoe, BlazeVox, and The Write Room. Genevieve is grateful for trees.
Read MorePreparing to be Forgotten
After telling my friends that I was quitting social media, they were shocked to say the least. Some looked at me as if I were mad. Perhaps I am, a little. They asked how I was going to be invited to parties, where I was going to post my holiday pictures and how I was going to keep in contact with them.
On Keeping a Journal With My Mother
When I was in the first grade, my school began to pull me out of class twice a week to work with a resource teacher. Years later, when I asked my mother why that was, she told me it was because the school was concerned about my social skills because I was so shy and stoic and quiet. And while this bothers me now, the idea that a small brown girl would be pulled out of class to be taught how to socialize, I remember finding solace in those times with my resource teacher. I can’t recall her name, but I do remember she was a white woman with dark bobbed hair that wore the color red a lot.
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Brie turned out to be my “gateway cheese.”
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Aromatherapy's one of my staple self-care rituals. Because anyone can enjoy aromatherapy with a little research, a few essential oils, and an applicator—a diffuser, glass spray bottle, or even direct, topical applications—I recommend aromatherapy to everyone I meet.
I’m Getting Married & I Can’t Stop Thinking About Death
Kailey Tedesco's books She Used to be on a Milk Carton (April Gloaming Publications) and These Ghosts of Mine, Siamese (Dancing Girl Press) are both forthcoming. She is the editor-in-chief of a Rag Queen Periodical and a performing member of the NYC Poetry Brothel. Her work has been nominated for the Pushcart Prize. You can find her poetry featured or forthcoming in Prelude, Prick of the Spindle, Bellevue Literary Review, Vanilla Sex Magazine, and more. For more information, please visit kaileytedesco.com.